Connection-Focused Parenting as a Military Service Member or First Responder
Balancing a demanding career with parenting, especially during a divorce or separation, can be challenging. However, EMS workers, firefighters, police officers, and military service members can still nurture strong, meaningful connections with their children with some creativity.
Maintaining these connections and staying actively involved is key to fostering a healthy parent-child relationship. Regular, meaningful interactions help build trust, emotional resilience, and a sense of security. Even with a busy schedule, staying engaged and creating shared experiences shows your child they are valued and loved, which supports their overall well-being.
A strong, positive connection with your child benefits not only their emotional health but also influences parenting time and custody arrangements. Demonstrating a committed, nurturing relationship can positively impact legal decisions by showing that you are actively involved in your child’s life. Courts and custody evaluators often view consistent, meaningful involvement as a significant factor in determining the best interests of the child, which may lead to more favorable parenting time and custody outcomes.
Here are some ideas to help strengthen your relationship with your child, regardless of their age:
1. Create Personalized Rituals and Celebrations
• Goodbye/Hello Rituals: Develop a unique phrase, handshake, or activity for transitions.
• Family Day: Designate a special family holiday to celebrate together.
• Make-Up Celebrations: Celebrate missed birthdays or holidays with a special event.
2. Use the Mail
• Letters from the Field: Send regular updates through letters or digital messages.
• Surprise Notes: Hide uplifting notes in their space or school bag.
• Personalized Care Packages: Include snacks, small toys, or souvenirs.
3. Create Activity Kits
• Job-Themed Kits: Educate your child about your job through themed kits.
• “Mission” Assignments: Set fun challenges for them to complete while you’re away.
• Activity Box: Fill a box with “coupons” for fun activities to do when you’re home.
4. Play and Relate
• Shared Activities: Do similar crafts or baking and share results via video calls.
• Virtual Hobbies: Collaborate on hobbies or projects online.
• Journal Swap: Exchange journals filled with drawings, thoughts, or letters.
•Photo Album/Scrapbook: Build a scrapbook or photo album with shared memories and mementos.
5. Make Technology Fun
• Video Messages: Record and send short video updates and encourage your child to reply.
• Online Games: Play interactive games or apps together.
• Virtual Movie Nights: Watch movies together over video calls.
6. Connect through Music
• Share Music Playlist: Add songs you both enjoy and listen together or when apart.
• Dance/Karaoke: Have virtual or in-person dance parties or sing together.
7. Stay Engaged
• School: Monitor educational updates via social media, email, or school portals.
• Medical: Create a account on your child’s healthcare provider’s portal for updates.
• Religious Events: Check for virtual attendance or recordings of events.
• Extracurriculars: Use apps like GameChanger or Vimeo to stream and follow events.
Written by: Tiffany Coleman
Tiffany Coleman is a Senior Litigation Associate at Barrow Brown Carrington, PLLC, specializing in family law and alternative dispute resolution. With extensive experience in both litigation and mediation, she skillfully navigates complex cases involving divorce, child custody, high-asset support determinations, military family law, and child advocacy. Beyond her practice, she is dedicated to community service and enjoys spending time with her family and her beloved Great Dane.
Learn more about Tiffany here
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